


Shatter Me

by pearsonasnic



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Magic, Endgame Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Eventual Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Character Death, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Some Stable Queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 01:49:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7461849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearsonasnic/pseuds/pearsonasnic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Regina was Henry's birth mother and Emma adopted him? Regina is forced into marrying Leopold and ends up having an affair with Daniel that results in a pregnancy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself for posting another fic when I have two already that I've not finished but this idea came up in a group chat and I had to write it. This is an AU with no magic, SwanQueen is end game but Emma won't appear till half way through, very Regina centric. I was going to wait to post it but I'm actually really pleased with this so here you go, hope you all enjoy!

When Regina saved the young girl on the runaway horse that day she did not believe that she would end up here. Her mother accepting a marriage proposal on her behalf because of the man being rich.

It turned out that the young girl was Snow White whose family was known in their area for being well off. The girl’s mother died a while ago under some suspicious circumstances, but due to the family’s reputation, it was all brushed under the rug. Leopold was Snow’s father and also now apparently Regina’s soon to be husband.

An unsettling feeling of dread settled over Regina as she stood slightly open-mouthed next to her mother looking from her to Leopold. She did not want this.

* * *

 

Preparations for the wedding began instantly, and Regina was allowed very little input into it at all. Leopold wanted the wedding to happen quickly, so it was to be within the month.

Anxiety and dread swept through Regina every time she had to think about the prospect of her wedding day. Being forced into marrying a man twice her age who she did not feel anything for was not the wedding she had dreamt of as a little girl.

It was at its worst at night when her stomach would lurch, and her chest tighten. The tears she hid during the day fell freely, and all she could do was scrunch up her face and hold herself tight while waiting for sleep or morning whichever came first.

Her mother was not helping the process in any way. She was speeding things up, rushing it along because of the prospect of having her daughter marry into such a wealthy family. Cora only cared about her own social status and was constantly trying to raise herself higher, anyone who got in her way was damned even if that included her own daughter.

Her father, Henry was no help either for as much as he cared for his daughter he was too much of a pushover to stand up for her. This was how things had always been.

From the moment Regina was born she was a chess piece in her mother’s game. She strategically placed Regina in situations for her own gain. If there was no gain for Cora, then it was not worthy of her.

She spent very little of her time with her future husband though she did spend a lot of time with Snow who was a sweet if not spoiled child. It was hard to be around her as the girl was excited for Regina to be her step-mother. Regina did not want to hurt Snow’s feelings, and so she pretended to be just as excited, and that was what she put most of her energy into.

For the rest of her days, she donned a blank expression that hid her feelings well, though many of Leopold’s staff had decided that she was standoffish and rude but she cared little of what they thought.

* * *

 

When the day of the wedding actually arrived Regina had not slept at all, and she did not want to leave her bed. She stayed there as long as she could despite the fact that she could hear her mother shouting for her to get up. It was not long before her door was slammed open and her mother barged in.

“Get up this instance!” Cora growled whilst pulling the covers from Regina. “There is a lot to do today and no time for this nonsense.”

Regina groaned and sat up wiping at her eyes to try to disguise her tears, but there was no hiding that she had been crying and her mother caught on quickly.

“You foolish child!” Cora grabbed Regina harshly by the chin forcing her face upwards, “your tears are weakness.”

All Regina could do was stare back, she did not have the energy to fight with her mother, she had come to accept her fate. Leading up to the wedding she had tried several times to run away, and each time she never got far because Cora would catch up with her.

For the rest of the morning, she did what she was told, allowing her mother to help her get ready with no protest, as that would just make things more difficult than they needed to be. There was no stopping the inevitable at this point so what was the point in fighting it, everything as always was out of her control.

Finally, not long before she was to walk down the aisle, she had a moment alone and felt herself relax the tension that had been building inside all morning. It was then that she looked at herself in the full-length mirror that was before her. Her dress was beautiful, of course, she had seen it during the many fittings but she never had a chance to see it properly and with her hair and makeup done she couldn’t help but feel that she looked like a princess.

Although the dress was beautiful, it was bought by Leopold, and its heavy weight felt like he was already there weighing her down. She had tried not to think of after the wedding but it was getting harder, she had to swallow a sob that escaped her throat. She really didn’t want this. She didn’t even know this man that she was expected to lie with, he had so far spent a limited time as possible with her. Perhaps that was a good sign, and she wouldn’t have to spend too much time around him.

At that point, her mother interrupted her thoughts by entering the room. It was time. She barely heard the words Cora was speaking, she was too busy trying not to throw up. She felt like she was approaching her execution rather than her wedding.

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had hoped that this would be out sooner but never mind here it is now. Just a warning, my knowledge of horses is so lacking that I needed help so thank you, Ida! But also I'm sorry if it's wrong, and that's all my fault, I did try my best. I hope you all enjoy anyway, this is an interesting story to write.

Through the entire ceremony Regina felt like she could not breathe, her insides squirmed, and it all went excruciatingly slow. She was entirely too aware of each breath and tiny movement of her body. The worst was the kiss, she internally cringed despite it only being a peck on the lips.

After the ceremony, they all went back to Leopold's Mansion where they were to celebrate the joining of two families. This was easier, for the most part, all she had to do was smile and look pretty at her husband's side. She spent some time with Snow who was chattering away at how beautiful Regina looked and again all she really needed to do to appease the girl was nod and smile in the right places. It was later that worried her, the time when the guests were gone, and she would have to accompany Leopold to his bedroom.

That time came far quicker than she would have liked and before she knew it she was standing awkwardly in front of her husband in his bedroom. This was the first time she truly understood the kind of man she had married.

Leopold had the outward appearance of a kind man, and he was for the most part to everyone but his wife. That first night he was not gentle with her, he was forceful and frightening. He ignored her cries of pain and seemed to be very intent on marking her body as his, there would be bruises and bite marks littering her flesh come morning.

When he was finished, he said not a word and rolled over falling easily into slumber. She was left wrapping her arms around her battered body with silent tears streaming down her cheeks. If her mother had known what kind of man she was giving her daughter to would she still have been so willing to throw her to him? Regina knew the answer, Cora would do anything to raise her own standing, it didn't matter what happened to her.

At some point, Regina had fallen into a fitful state of sleep out of sheer exhaustion, but it hadn't done much to help her tiredness as she awoke just as tired as she had been the night before.

Glancing around she realised that Leopold was nowhere to be found, and so she felt safe enough to slowly pull herself up wincing from pain as she moved her bruised body. It was the first time she had seen the bedroom properly; it was fairly large with an ensuite bathroom. Her things had been moved here days previously.

She really wanted to take a shower, to feel clean again. Her toiletries were already in the bathroom, probably thanks to one of the many maids that Leopold had so that he did not have to lift a finger.

It felt better when she was finally standing in the shower with the hot water beating down on her. She scrubbed every inch of her skin raw, desperately trying to remove the feeling of last night. Of him.

* * *

 

When she made her way downstairs it was to find Snow alone at the dining table, the girl was her usual cheery self. Regina was glad that Leopold wasn't there. Snow told her that her father had eaten breakfast much earlier and then left the house to go into town and that he would not be back till much later. She felt herself relax at this news, she wouldn't have to see him just yet.

Regina spent a good portion of her day with Snow, who chattered none stop the entire time, however, she did eventually need to take a break from the girl. She wasn't completely sure when Leopold was going to return or if he would even care if she wasn't there when he got back. However, she did need some fresh air and so decided to go for a walk, this way she could also get acquainted with the surrounding area.

Spending time alone outside was peaceful, she could pretend that she was not currently in a forced marriage to a monster. The urge to run away and not look back was very strong, but it would only end the way her last attempts had, with her being found and dragged back in more trouble than when she'd started.

The walk was nice though, just when she was starting to think about turning back something caught her attention. A stable, she had always had a love for horses and couldn't resist taking a peek.

The first thing that caught her eye once inside was a beautiful gelding with a shiny chestnut coat, she approached him and stretched out her hand to touch his coarse coat. She'd always loved horses and had ridden often when living at home, she had worried she would not get the chance to again. Just this horse's proud presence had her calmer than she had felt for the longest time. She was so distracted that she did not notice someone come in behind her.

"He's beautiful isn't he."

Regina whirled around startled, "I'm sorry, I didn't…didn't mean to intrude…yes he is."

The man smiled warmly at her, "It's fine, there's nothing to apologise for."

She smiled at the stranger, "I'm Regina."

"Daniel," he replied warmly. "It was you who married Mr. White yesterday wasn't it?"

"Yes," she said unable to control the look of sadness that washed over her face at the mention of that man.

"You're not happy about it?" Daniel questioned, concern evident on his features.

Regina gave a sad smile and shook her head no, she didn't really want to go much further into the whole thing. Luckily he did not push on the topic.

Instead, he asked, "can you ride?"

Her face lit up, "yes, I love riding."

At that he smiled brightly, "you can ride Rocinante here, it looks like he already likes you."

* * *

 

Regina had not felt as free as she had whilst riding Rocinante in what felt like forever, she smiled brighter than she had since that day her mother accepted Leopold's proposal. She'd even got the courage to ask Daniel if they could do this again next time she had the chance to get away from the mansion. He'd said yes and told her what times he was usually around so she could find him.

It wasn't till then that she realised how late it had gotten; the sun was starting to set. Her blood ran cold at the thought of how Leopold might react to her late arrival back, she wasn't even sure whether he would be angry at her for leaving the manor in the first place.

Daniel had noticed her change and was looking at her with a lot of concern. She looked up at him and answered his concern with, "I really need to go now, I'll see you again…soon."

She didn't wait for him to say or do anything before running out of the stable, she continued running the entire way back to the manor, panic flooding her mind. It was only when she was closer that she paused briefly to catch her breath and attempt to compose herself. It would do no good to come in flushed and out of breath.

When she felt more in control, she started to approach the house, her hands were shaking, a knot of nerves tangled in her chest. She did her best to hide it when she slowly opened the door. She was barely inside when a voice called out from the living room.

"Here. Now!"

It was humiliating, he treated her like a child who had missed their curfew instead of his wife, he told her she could leave the house during the day but was to be home before dinner. After that, she went straight to bed not wanting any more time in his presence.

She didn't sleep though, she stared up and the ceiling for what felt like hours till he came up to bed. It was just as bad as the previous night, worse even since he had deemed that she should be punished for not getting home in time for him.

And so again she was curled up on the bed, crying silent tears till she passed out from exhaustion. This is what her life had become, and this is how her nights were for the foreseeable future though it got less frequent as time went on.

There was one thing she looked forward to though, and that was her time with Daniel who she would go see at every opportunity. At first, it was the horses that drew her there but then it was seeing his friendly smile which made things bearable for just a little longer.

* * *

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Regina wasn’t entirely sure when the feelings began, perhaps it was their very first meeting, and she hadn’t understood what it was she felt at first.  She’d never had a friend before to compare it to since her mother had kept her so isolated her whole life, she’d assumed that was what it was at first, feelings that you had for a friend.  It wasn’t until one day after their usual time out riding when something happened, and she came to realise the true depth of what she felt. 

One second they’d been laughing and the next the laughter quietened till they were left gazing into each other’s eyes.  At that moment, she was suddenly quite aware of her proximity to him, it had her heart thudding hard in her chest, and it had nothing to do with the exhilaration of their time out riding.

When their lips met it was the most magical thing that had ever happened to the young brunette girl trapped in a marriage she hadn’t wanted to be a part of.  The kiss was soft, sweet and genuine, there was nothing rough or forced about it, when and if her husband kissed her he was all about taking and demanding and this wasn’t like that at all.

A swell of feeling rose in her chest, she felt dizzy with the intoxicating feeling of their lips moving together, and so when they broke apart she was stunned into silence.  She had not ever been aware that kissing could be like this, that it could be this meaningful thing shared between two people who _really_ cared for one another.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…” Daniel began speaking, he seemed to have been worried by her silence but then caught sight of the smile that was creeping onto Regina’s face as each second went by.

“No, don’t be sorry.  That was wonderful,” she blushed a deep red but was so happy, her time with Daniel was a breath of fresh air compared to everything else in her life.

He didn’t say anything more and only smiled back, his eyes sparkling with it.  They kissed again and it was just as wonderful, Regina was sure she could never get enough of this, that she wanted to always be kissing this man.

Their affair began at that moment and they never looked back, Regina couldn’t, not when she finally knew what real love felt like.  What it felt like to have someone who loved her and treated her with care when all she’d ever known was abuse at the hands of people who were supposed to care, people who put on a façade of care but were only ever looking out for themselves.

She always made sure to come to the stables when no one else was likely to be around, it was imperative if they did not want to be caught.  They fell into this comfortable pattern where they would spend time together riding then go to a private clearing in the woods where they would sit and talk and kiss and just _be_ together.  There was no way they could risk going anywhere else for the town gossips would have a field day, and they would ensure that Leopold got word of his wife’s dalliances, so they spent their time between the stables and their clearing and for the time being that was _enough_.

It did not take long for them to make their first mistake, they got too carried away, too lost in young love and desires to think of consequences.  Regina had been particularly lonely, craved human contact as her husband and his daughter had been gone for 2 weeks of traveling over the Christmas period.  She wasn’t even sure of when they’d be back, she’d only been told to expect them to return sometime in the new year.

She’d been left alone, uninvited, not that she had wanted to go anyway.  For the most part, she was flat out ignored by Leopold unless he intended to use her to fill his sexual desires or if it benefited him in some way.  Snow was just exhausting to the point that she found herself snapping at the young girl quite often.  A break from them was a good thing except she felt so completely alone, not even her mother had bothered with her and she suspected her father was being kept away from her as well.

Anyway, this meant that Regina sought out comfort in Daniel’s arms and so when their kisses got heated she encouraged it further.  She didn’t stop him when his hands snuck under her clothes to touch bare skin, or when he slowly removed both his and her clothes despite them being inside the stables.  He was oh so gentle with her, and she craved that touch so very much.  He almost treated her like a porcelain doll to be cherished and cared for.  It didn’t even matter that it was winter, and the stables had a biting chill, it was warmer than outside if only just.

It was all twisted in her head, his touch to replace her husbands.  The thought of being in another man’s arms and being pleasured by Daniel whilst her husband was unaware made her want it more than anything.  She wanted it to spite Leopold.

In the very near future, she’d come to regret her actions and motives, regret perhaps not stopping it before it got too far.  In the moment, however, when their bodies were pressed together and it felt so good in a way she never knew sex could be, she had no thoughts of regret.  She had only ever known her husband’s touch, only knew the pain of being raped each night and never of consensual sex that could feel like bliss. 

He caressed and kissed the slightly fading marks her husband had left as if he could vanish them under his touch.  Her heart fluttered, and she felt so much that it was overwhelming.  He made sure she received as much from it as he did but they were naïve and young and so contraception never even crossed either of their minds.

* * *

 

Regina only started to worry about any of this, a month or so later when she realised that her period was inconspicuously absent.  The first thing she did was try to brush it off as a fluke, surely her period would arrive soon.  Then there were other symptoms, as they started she assumed it meant her period would be here any day now but then more symptoms arrived, and there was still no sign of her period.  She had moments of unpleasant nausea, a tiredness that was overwhelming and her breasts felt sore and heavy. 

She would repeatedly tell herself her symptoms had other causes even with the niggling feeling that had settled in the back of her mind and very clearly said that was not the case.  It wasn’t until she was spending her mornings in the bathroom clinging to the toilet as she emptied her stomach that her denial started lifting.  She didn’t want to think too hard about the possibility of being pregnant, she’d wait till she could confirm it for herself but it was an ever-looming thought that sat uncomfortably in her head.

There was nothing for it really, she was just going to have to go out and buy a pregnancy test and find out once and for all so that if it was nothing then she knew was worrying needlessly.  Everyone would know though, with this town and its gossips always wanting to be involved in the private lives of everyone around them, especially that of their most prominent family. 

Leopold was an important figure in Storybrooke and as his wife her every whereabouts was also paid particular attention to.  Her purchase would be especially noteworthy to others, and half the town would likely know before she even managed to get home.  There would be no way to keep this a secret, she was just going to have to bite the bullet and do it anyway.

She bought the test on a day she knew to be quiet for the local supermarket and at a time when it was less likely for as many people to be around.  She wanted to minimise how many people she would come into contact with.

It took less than an hour to get to the store and back, when there she loitered around other items, trying not to be too obvious, keeping her head down though she was sure it didn’t make much of a difference.  She grabbed the first test she saw on her way towards the checkout, not paying attention to brands and throwing the money down without looking so she could leave as quickly as she could, hiding the box in her coat.

At home she hid the test amongst her clothing where Leopold was unlikely to look, she wouldn’t use it till first thing in the morning when he’d already have left the house for the day.  For the rest of that night, her mind wandered to the test that lay nestled in their bedroom, her stomach churned with nerves and she barely ate, excusing herself to bed early.

As soon as she’d heard the door to their bedroom close the next morning, her eyes snapped open.  Her sleep had been fitful and disturbed, as it usually was, so she had not been sleeping at that moment, not that her husband made any effort of even attempting to be quiet first thing on a morning anyway.  It would be only 15 minutes till he left for the day, so she listened out, waiting. Sure enough, she heard the tell-tale sound of the front door slamming and his car starting.  She swung her legs over the side of the bed and rose.  She felt queasy at the thought of what she needed to do, but there was no use avoiding the inevitable.

It felt like forever before the results showed despite that not being the case, she spent the time waiting nervously glancing over at the test and pacing back and forth in the bathroom.  When it was _actually_ time to look she was seized with fear, she felt that she couldn’t look, was too scared.  It was all too much for her, but she had to look, she had no choice and needed to face whatever the outcome was.  She picked it up carefully with her eyes closed, then slowly she peaked through her eyelids to see the result.

It was positive.

Her stomach dropped, a wave of nausea flooding through her till she was retching over the toilet bowl.  After emptying her stomach and waiting for it to settle she leaned back against the bathtub.  She tried calculating the dates in her head, her last period had been just as Leopold and Snow had gone at the beginning of December and that meant the baby could only be Daniels and _not_  that of her husband. 

She was so very relieved, at least it wasn’t _his_ , she couldn’t stand the mere thought of carrying _his_ child, she didn’t want any part of him inside her.She lifted her top, despite knowing there would be no bump yet and gently pressed her fingers to her abdomen.  There was a little life growing inside her, the thought left a warm fuzzy feeling in her chest.

She’d have to make sure Leopold would not find out the true identity of the child’s father but she was sure she could keep it from him, she could lie and smooth it all over with words.  At least that’s what she told herself.

She squished her eyes shut, trying to imagine herself with a growing belly and eventually a little bundle in her arms.  She would have a try at being a mother, she’d try her everything to make sure that this baby didn’t grow up the way she did.  A splash of tears trickled down her face.  She was going to be a mother and despite it all, that fact had a smile growing on her face, this was something she had always wanted.  Someone who would love her unconditionally and she could love back and share life with, someone without their own agenda who would just love her because she was their mother.

* * *

 

 


End file.
